Migraines and the SAHM

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As a stay-at-home-mom to a 2 year old girl, I accept that there is nothing I can do about screeching. Whether it be happy squeals or angry, high pitched screams, my day is full of very loud noises. After all, I don’t refer to my daughter as The Noisy Thing for nothing! Unfortunately, as a migraine sufferer, sometimes accepting those screeches is damn near impossible. Toddler tantrums are enough of a pain on a good day but on a migraine day, they make you want to vomit. Literally. On a good day, there is nothing sweeter than hearing your child laughing and hollering with joy but on a migraine day, squeals of delight feel awfully similar to those tantrums we were talking about earlier.

If you’ve never had the “pleasure” of dealing with a migraine, let me paint you a picture. It starts as a gentle throbbing in the temple or between the eyes. You rush to take Excedrin or Tylenol as quickly as possible and hope that you caught it in time. On a good day that nips it in the bud and you continue on about your day. On a bad day the throbbing becomes a hot, sharp, stabbing pain that I imagine is something akin to having white hot lobotomy needles inserted into the inner corners of your eyes and pushed upward through the top of your skull. At this point, light becomes nearly impossible to bear and every single noise above a level-two volume on your phone instantly makes you instantly nauseated. You have medication that can knock the migraine out but, unfortunately, the medication also knocks you out. Within 10 minutes of taking the medication you are light headed, sleepy, and kind of confused so all you can do is sleep.

And therein lies the problem as a stay-at-home parent. When you are the primary care giver you can’t just take the medicine and go to sleep because you have to be functional in case your child gets hurt or needs something to eat or drink. Plus, if your child is young like mine, they have zero comprehension of what is happening to you and are unlikely to be quiet enough to let you rest so you’d be likely end up being more miserable since the medicine has such a disorienting effect. I am so incredibly blessed that The Noisy Thing seems to sense when I’m not feeling well and gets extra cuddly on those days. She’s still just as screechy, but I can’t complain too much because she really does try to be sweet.

I can’t tell you how many days I have had like the one described above. On those days, I feel weak and like I’m a horrible mother. Those are the days I have to put The Noisy Thing in her high chair, in front of cartoons with her crayons and paper so that I can go lay down in the shower with the lights off and cry. I write this post because I want all you migraine mommies (and daddies as Hubby is also a sufferer so I know it goes both ways) out there to know that you are not alone. If you feel like you’re failing or like you are inadequate because of this miserable affliction, I want you to know that you’re not. You are just a wonderful of a parent as non-migraine parents, you just have to try a little harder on the bad days.

 

 

 

 

 

XO,

Ursula

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Keeping it Together When Life Gets Crazy

Seeing as how we are currently in the midst of a transatlantic move, I figured this was the perfect time to talk about how easy it is to just say “screw it” when it comes to ourselves when life gets busy. We all do it, I know I do. We have kids to take care of, a house to clean, and errands to run so we get it done and by the time it’s all taken care of all we want to do is collapse. Days like that pretty much guarantee a makeup-less day spent in yoga pants with hair thrown up in a haphazard top knot. Sometimes these days also mean that we just don’t feel like cooking dinner and working out and there’s nothing wrong with that as long as it’s just one day every now  and then. Unfortunately though, sometimes a day turns into a week, which turns into two, and well… you get the idea.

So, why is it that we are so quick to sacrifice the few things we do for ourselves when life gets crazy?

This pinup is here to remind you that you are important and you need to take care of you. I would even argue that taking care of ourselves is the single most important duty we have as wives and mothers. I’m sure you’ve all heard the adage “you can’t pour from an empty cup” and in the nearly two years since I became a mother I have learned how true that really is the hard way. I completely lost my identity because we only had one car for a while so all I ever did was clean the house and play with The Noisy Thing. Now, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore my family and spending time with them is a blessing but I for a good chunk of time, I rarely went out and I felt completely frumpy so I started working out and that helped. I started eating better and that helped a little more. I started doing my hair and makeup more often and dressing in vintage styles and that was really how I clawed my way out of the ocean of self-loathing I’d be swimming in for some time.

Here’s my advice, one pinup (one mother) to another: take time for yourself every single day. I know that sounds easier said than done but I’m telling you it is absolutely doable. I work out, eat healthfully, and do my vintage stylings pretty much every day but there are times (like this month) where it is not always possible to do all of that every single day. This fact does not stop me from making at least 30 minutes for myself every day and it shouldn’t stop any of you either. Pick one thing that you do just for yourself and make sure you do it every single day no matter how insane life gets. This thing will change from day to day depending on what you need to or feel like doing but it should be something you do just for you. Make time for it. It is true, the floors aren’t going to sweep themselves but guess what? They’re not going anywhere either! Your family will survive if you delay sweeping for one day so that you can take the time to do your makeup, go to the gym, get a haircut, or whatever else you choose to do. I cannot stress enough how important this is. Let’s take care of ourselves so that we can better care for our families!

Tchuss!

Ursula

Introducing: Ursula DeLight

Hey ya’ll!

I’m Ursula and I’ll be the one (hopefully) entertaining you within the pages of this blog. I just want to use this first post to explain a little bit about why I’ve started this blog and what you can expect from it.

I am a wife, a mother, a passionate home cook, a pinup girl, and a lover of tattoos. At least, that’s what I am now. I’m starting this blog because I kind of lost myself after I separated from the Air Force a couple years ago. I enlisted straight out of high school so I suppose you could say that my job was my identity for most of my young adult life. When Hubby and I decided to start a family, it became clear to us that we could not both stay in the military because we were both in high deployment tempo careers. It simply made sense for me to become a stay-at-home-mom. I have absolutely loved being able to be there for all of my daughter’s (whom I shall affectionately refer to as The Noisy Thing) milestones but somewhere along the way, I found myself without an identity of my own. I was having trouble with my weight after The Noisy Thing was born and I never wore anything but yoga pants. Even after I got my weight under control, I struggled to figure out who I was aside from just a wife and mother.

Cue my wonderful friend Bella Bon Voyage! A few months ago Bella started her blog and convinced me that I should finally embrace the vintage/pinup style that we both loved so much because it was helping her heal from similar circumstances. And you know what? She was right! After only a few weeks of doing vintage hair styles, makeup, and clothes nearly every day, I felt like I at least knew who I was again.

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Flash forward to this past weekend: Bella convinced me to go out with her and take some fun pinup photos with her since we are moving from Germany to Baltimore next week and something magical happened. As we shot, we’d stop periodically to look at the pictures and I couldn’t believe my eyes. On the screen of that camera was a (relatively) thin woman with loads of self confidence! I could hardly recognize myself because I hadn’t felt as confident as I looked in those pictures in a very long time.

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I had thought about starting a blog for some time but just couldn’t come up with a very good idea. I have always loved cooking and have really gotten into healthy cooking in the last year or so (let me tell you, not easy for an Arkansas comfort food kind of gal!). I’m also a wife and mother and have quite a few tattoos. With this new pinup style, everything finally clicked into place and I found my niche. In the pages of this blog, you will find recipes, musings on family, and posts about my personal style. I do not claim to be an expert in any of these things but I am passionate about them all!

XO,

Ursula

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All Photos Credit: You Are My Sunshine Photography